


Eyes Wide Open

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Exhibitionism, Accidental Voyeurism, Canon Compliant, Fetus Direction, Fetus Harry Styles, Fetus Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Fetus Louis Tomlinson, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Teen Angst, The X Factor Era, X Factor house, fetus larry, harry is 16, louis is 18, wanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-07 09:02:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18870034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: Louis’ eyes were wide as they met Harry’s, but his hand didn't stop its motions.“I just- I, uh-” Harry fumbled behind him until his hand found the cool metal of the handle, and pushed it down, the door cracking open slightly again. “I’ll go, I’m sorry-”“Don’t.”*****The X Factor House. Louis wanks. Harry watches. Everything changes...





	Eyes Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lauren/kingsofeverything for creating this fun fest! It's given me a chance to write something I've wanted to try in a while which is Fetus Larry. I actually found it harder than I thought and had to scrap one idea, but then managed to work with it to create this. Thanks to Liz for bearing with me and encouraging me not to throw it away, and to Coco for making sure I finished it. 
> 
> I hope you like it. Any inaccuracies are my own doing.
> 
> Just a little note, Harry is 16 in this, and Louis is 18. 16 is the age of consent in the U.K. so I won't tag this as underage as, in my opinion, it is not.
> 
> Enjoy this! Do leave a comment and let me know what you thought, I always love reading them :)

Harry tiptoed along the corridor, listening out for any sign of anyone coming up the stairs. He leaned over the bannister enough to hear laughter and low chatter of the other people living in the house, and decided he could risk it. He crept back towards the bedroom that the One Direction boys shared and closed the door as quietly as he could, his heart racing with the anticipation of having a few minutes alone. He slid the lock across and giggled to himself, hurrying over to the bed he more often than not shared with Louis.

He laid on his back and planted his feet on the bed, using his leg muscles to lift his bum up off the sheet, making quick work of wriggling his shorts down, swiftly followed by his boxers. He wasn’t hard yet, but Harry knew it wouldn’t take long. He snaked a hand down his torso over the top of the t-shirt he was wearing, feeling his body, his nipples already stiff peaks under his fingertips.

“Fuck-” he whimpered as he grazed one with the edge of his thumbnail, making his cock twitch. Harry knew this was only his first wank of the day, but he was pretty proud he’d made it until gone 8 o’clock to touch himself. He was most definitely a cliché sixteen year old boy, always horny, hard most of the time, and forever thinking about sex, although he hadn’t yet experienced that particular pleasure. Wanking, though, was something he was _definitely_ familiar with. He also knew how to drag it out, to make it feel the best it could be, but he quite liked when he had to be fast and dirty with it too, like he knew it had to be now before he could be caught.

Harry moaned as finally, he left his hand drift down, fingers wrapping around the soft skin of his shaft. He teased himself for a moment, fingers running up from base to tip and back down again, letting his eyes flicker shut, free hand grabbing at the bed sheet below his half-naked body. “Ah, shit-”

With a tightening grip, Harry started to stroke his hand up and down, teasing slowly, building up to what he knew was going to be a frantic wank. Guilt burning in his stomach, Harry let his mind escape for a moment to the sight that had riled him up earlier, something he couldn’t confess to anyone, let alone the man who was the object of his deepest desires. There was no way he could tell Louis in a million years how he truly felt, and touching himself to his fantasies was the only way he could cope.

Harry bit down on his bottom lip as his mind flooded with images, mentally zooming in on what he’d seen earlier in the day. Louis had been laid out on a towel in the garden of the X Factor house along with a few other contestants, and he’d been just as undressed as them. However, nobody else had caught his eye like Louis had. Harry remembered how Louis’ golden and toned stomach glistened in the sun, the way the rays caught on the ripples of his stomach muscles, how the hairs on his chest caught the light perfectly. His hands were tucked underneath his head, bare arms exposed. It had been a lot for Harry to deal with, and he’d willed his erection to disappear, hoping no one would see how affected he’d been.

The pace of his strokes picked up as Harry lost himself in the fantasy of laying down next to Louis, leaning over to kiss his lips gently with his own, bodies pressed together. Louis’ skin would be warmed by the sun, and Harry would be able to touch, to let his fingertips trail over Louis’ soft skin, to make Louis feel good. Harry whimpered as he gently grazed the pad of his thumb over the wet head of his cock, imagining how it might feel to let Louis do that, to touch him so intimately. Harry had let a girl touch him before, back home in Holmes Chapel, and while it had been good, he was sure Louis would make him feel infinitely better.

Harry arched his lower back a little as his thoughts fell away to Louis bent over him, taking the head of his cock between his lips, suckling on it gently as Harry just laid back and enjoyed every second of it. He licked his lips, thinking about how Louis would taste on his tongue, how it would feel to finally have Louis’ cock in his mouth, how it would be to look up at Louis from where he was knelt on his knees in front of him as Louis looked down, eyes dark and full of desire.

“Oh fuck, Louis, please-” Harry whispered to himself, cheeks flaming with both his imminent orgasm and the embarrassment that he was using Louis to get himself off yet again. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, forcing himself to grip his cock slightly tighter, the dry drag of his hand verging on slightly painful now as he moved swiftly up and down, his cock leaking precome, desperate for release. Harry released the sheet from his other hand and brought it across, cupping his balls, teasing himself exactly how he liked. He was close now, and he prayed he wouldn’t be interrupted, that he’d be able to have an orgasm before someone stopped him in his tracks.

Harry was panting now, his chest heaving with his hard and fast breaths, and Harry wanked quicker, with less care than he usually would, desperate to come. He pictured Louis writhing underneath him as he stroked him off, Louis beneath him, between his thighs as he rode Louis’ cock, Louis kissing him urgently and full of passion as they ground up against each other in a frenzy to get off with each other. Harry squeezed his balls for a moment before he rolled them in his hand, twisting his wrist as it reached the head of his cock, bucking his hips desperately.

“Louis, Louis- oh god, my god, Louis- AH!”

Harry turned his head to the side and almost screamed silently into the pillow as he started to come, not releasing his grip in the slightest as he covered his hand and lower stomach in hot strings of come, pleasure radiating throughout his body from the tip of his toes all the way to the top of his head. His orgasm thrummed through his veins, and Harry shook with it, letting the pleasure completely take over, Louis the only thing on his mind.

Finally, Harry released himself, his cock spent and somewhat sensitive. Harry raised his head high enough to look down at his body, smirking at the mess he’d made. He felt good, if a little guilty, and he collapsed back on the pillow, letting his heart rate calm down, trying to catch his breath a little. He tickled over his own tummy, letting goosebumps follow the pattern of his fingertips for a moment before he sighed, realising he’d better get ready to show his face downstairs.

He sat up, wincing at the tightness in his muscles. He leaned over the side of the bed, fumbling for the box of tissues he knew he stored there for this purpose, grabbing a couple. He bunched them up in his hand and swiped over his sticky crotch, making sure he was clean before he pulled his boxers back up, the elastic waistband pinging into place, making Harry’s skin smart for a moment.

Just as he’d yanked his shorts back on and had walked to the little bathroom attached to the bedroom and flushed the dirty tissues, someone pounded at the door, making Harry jump. He took a final glance in a small mirror Zayn had left on the windowsill and ran his hands through his hair, hoping he didn't look too much like he’d been wanking himself into a frenzy before he ran over, yanking the door open with a grin.

“You coming to play, Haz?” Niall asked, and Harry nodded, itching his shoulder as he walked out of the room behind his chatty Irish friend. “We missed you, what you been up to?”

Harry prayed he could keep a straight face, and he cleared his throat before speaking. “Uh, just having a lie down, needed a few minutes to myself. You know how it is in this place, a bit much sometimes.”

“Ah, I get ya, mate. Hope you’re ready for this, I’ve got so many things in mind.”

“Fuck, I bet you have,” Harry moaned, finally arriving at the living room. He grinned when he saw Louis sprawled across the corner of one of the largest sofas in the room, and he hurried over, claiming the spot next to the boy before anyone else could.

“Hiya, Lou,” Harry said, grinning at Louis quickly, their eyes meeting for a brief second before Harry tore his gaze away, not wanting to be obvious. He wasn’t sure at this point he had a lot to hide from Louis, but it didn't hurt to try and retain a modicum of dignity around the boy he’d been crushing on badly for months now. “You playing with us?”

“Might do,” Louis shrugged, curling his legs up underneath himself, forcing Harry a little closer to him. “I suppose you are?”

“Yeah, why not? Could be fun. Thanks, Li.”

Harry stretched up and accepted the drink Liam was handing him, the older contestants dotted around turning a blind eye to the sixteen year old having a beer. It was a Tuesday night in the house, and they’d been busy all day at rehearsals and needed to unwind. All of the overs had retired to bed a while ago, while the younger ones were burning the candle at both ends, determined to keep going as long as they could. Harry and Louis often prided themselves on being able to be the last ones heading to bed of an evening, sometimes not falling asleep until four or five in the morning, much to Liam’s chagrin when he couldn’t wake them up the next morning.

Bed sharing was another recent development between the pair. There’d been a huge thunderstorm the other night and Harry had woken in a fright thanks to a loud clap of thunder overhead. He’d whimpered in his bed until he’d heard Louis whispering his name, asking if he was okay. Harry was almost crying as he shook his head, and Louis had snuck across the room, climbing in behind Harry in his bed as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Harry had let Louis hold him until the storm had passed, his body curled up in front of Louis’ as he sought sanctuary in the arms of his best friend. Since then, they’d hardly spent a night apart, and it said a lot that none of the other members of One Direction had batted an eyelid at their closeness.

The only awkward part of it was when Harry woke up hard in his pyjama trousers and either had to will his erection away, or sneak out of bed without disturbing Louis to go to the bathroom for a quick and quiet wank while the others slept. Harry put it down to his age and sleeping next to the hottest boy he’d ever seen in his life. Hopefully, though, that wouldn’t be an issue tonight since he’d already had a pretty good orgasm today.

Harry glanced around at the people in the room. There was only seven of them, but that was enough to play a few rounds of the game before they all got bored and inevitably broke off into their usual groups, chatting in the small hours. As well as the five members of One Direction, there was Cher and Aiden joining them, all of them a bit merry after sharing a few bottles of wine between them during dinner and while Harry had been hidden away upstairs, pleasuring himself, grabbing a few quiet minutes while he could. It was hard sometimes, being in a house so full of people when he was used to being at home with just his Mum and sister, things far more sedate. Still, he loved it, and when he was in the mood, like now, he enjoyed being surrounded by people.

“Okay, so we all know the rules?” Aiden checked, and everyone nodded. “We all get one free pass so if there’s something you really don’t want to do, or a question you can’t answer, you can get out of it. But use it wisely…”

“Sounds ominous,” Niall piped up as Aiden chuckled, grabbing an empty beer bottle from the floor next to him. “You going first then?”

“Well, I’ll spin this and whoever it lands on has to do a truth or dare from me. Sound okay?”

The gathered group nodded and silence descended as the green glass bottle span on the surface of the table. Harry’s heart raced as it slowed down near him but it slid past, eventually landing on Cher, who just rolled her eyes. Harry liked Cher a lot. He’d confided in her a bit about his crush on Louis and she’d kept his secret, understanding Harry’s fear of Louis finding out his true feelings towards him. Consequently, he’d come to respect her a lot, and she was a pretty sick singer as well, which always helped.

“Okay… Cher, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Aiden nodded and pondered for a moment before he grinned wickedly at her, cocking an eyebrow.

“Have you ever kissed a girl, and if so, tell us about it.”

“Yep, about a year ago after school. It was pretty standard, just like kissing a boy except she tasted of lipstick and her boobs pressed against mine.”

“Fucking hell…” Niall muttered, fanning him with a nearby TV guide, making Harry laugh. The thought of Cher with another girl didn't do anything for him, but it seemed the other lads were a bit affected, all shifting guiltily in their seats, unable to look at her. Luckily, though, it seemed Louis was just as unbothered as he was, and they both watched as Cher reached for the bottle, eyeing each of the lads sat around her before she span it.

It slowed down near Harry again but passed him enough to land on Louis, who just cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter. Harry kept his gaze in his lap, wondering if Louis would brave a dare or if he’d want to start off a little easier with a truth. Either way, Harry was sure he’d like the outcome.

“So what will it be, Tommo?”

“Truth, love.”

Harry’s heart was jack-rabbiting in his chest now. In a way, he was dreading what Cher was going to ask him, but he sat there waiting, wiping his sweaty palms on the top of the shorts he had on. He was sure they’d been Louis’ navy shorts at some point, but their stuff had long ago mixed together, and they frequently wore each other’s things, the other boys not quite understanding why they didn't mind such a thing.

“Okay. So… what was your favourite sex thing you did with Hannah, and what’s something you didn't do with her you wanna try?”

Harry focused very hard on his lap at that question. Louis had broken up with Hannah a couple of weeks ago now, and it wasn’t something he liked to talk about. Harry had tried to get him to open up, but Louis hadn’t wanted to say a lot, just letting Harry hug him to sleep that night, the pair growing closer after that. Harry had a horrible feeling he was something to do it with it, but he’d never been able to voice those fears to Louis in case he wasn’t right, that Louis would scoff and proclaim him an idiot for thinking he had anything to do with it.

“Uh… shit, you’re getting personal there, aren’t ya?”

“It’s truth or dare, Lou. You play with me, you play with fire.”

Liam chuckled nervously at that, looking a bit sick. Harry had a feeling he wasn’t going to last very long in this game.

“You going to answer or use your free pass, Tommo?” Niall asked, and Louis sat up a little straighter again, Harry’s knee knocking against Louis’ thigh. Harry went to move but Louis’ hand darted across, resting there on Harry's leg, keeping him in place.

“I’m not a wimp, Niall. I’m just thinking. Okay… well, one time she rode me and I really liked that. Felt good just laying back and letting her get on with it.”

Harry felt like his cheeks were flaming now, and he picked at a loose thread on his t-shirt, pulling at it and wrapping it around his finger as Louis continued to speak next to him, his fingertips still digging into Harry’s thigh almost painfully now.

“And as for something I want to try… I never ate her out. I wouldn’t mind eating someone out at some point, see what it’s like, you know?”

A few of the boys nodded, and Harry felt relieved when Louis reached out and spun the bottle a little too vigorously, the glass falling to the carpeted floor, making everyone laugh and breaking the tension slightly. Aiden picked it up and passed it back to Louis, who span it a little slower this time, the bottle eventually landing on Niall.

“You’re gonna take a dare, right?”

“Fucking right I am,” Niall said, puffing out his chest like his pride was at stake. “Hit me with your best shot.”

Harry snorted lightly at that, and Louis turned, smirking at him, their eyes meeting for a moment. They shared a wicked look and instantly, Harry knew what Louis had in mind. Louis leapt up from where he was sat and Harry trailed after him, the pair soon ending up in the kitchen. Louis collected armfuls of food, dumping them on the table as Harry set to work, opening up a loaf of bread and pulling out two slices.

“It’s like one fucking mind, Haz,” Louis commented as he grabbed a jar of pickled onions from the cupboard, an evil glint in his eyes as Harry began creating what looked like the world’s most grotesque sandwich. Louis was very helpful, squirting various sauces in between each thing Harry put in the sandwich, and soon, they were done. It looked vile, but Louis strutted proudly back to the living room, stopping in front of Niall.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Zayn muttered, getting  up and moving away from where he was sat next to Niall, the plate containing the sandwich now balanced on his lap.

“Who the fuck made this?” Niall asked, frowning at the monstrosity in front of him, peering around it, clearly working out where to begin.

“Me and my little chef,” Louis replied, leaning over and ruffling Harry’s hair, fingers tangling on his curls momentarily. “Now you have to eat at least five mouthfuls of it.”

“Shit. Fine, I can do that. Cast iron Irish stomach and all that. Bottoms up, lads.”

Louis went back and sat beside Harry as they all stared in morbid fascination as Niall took a bite, face soon contorting into a grimace. Harry wondered whether it was the hot mustard, the pickled onions or the apple sauce that Louis had smothered over a slice of pepperoni that was putting that look on his face. It was disgusting but somehow Niall managed it, standing up and bowing before he let out a long burp, making them all laugh.

“Jesus, I didn't expect you to actually eat that shit. Hazza, we need to get more creative next time,” Louis muttered and Harry nodded, going into the arm that Louis held out, the pair hugging again. Niall span the bottle and it landed on Zayn, who quickly answered a truth about which of Belle Amie he’d date if he had to. He spun, and it landed on Cher, who did a dare, which was to take her bra off from under her shirt and then wear it on top, which she did without blushing once. She had nerves of steel, Harry was sure.

Liam seemed to have escaped the wrath of the bottle so far, as Harry had, so Harry sighed in relief when Cher’s spin landed on Liam. He turned a comical shade of green and Harry watched Cher clasp her hands in front of her, her long red nails catching the light as she leaned forward.

“The dirtiest thing you’ve done with a girl, Liam. Spill.”

Liam didn't even hesitate, his cheeks turning a comical shade of pink as he spoke.

“I’m using my free pass! Not answering that…”

The group groaned until Zayn shushed them, telling them that was within the rules before he encouraged Liam to spin it. He did so with a good flick of his wrist, and it lapped the group a few times until it finally landed on Louis. Harry felt Louis’ fingers trailing around his shoulder as he decided on his answer.

“Dare. I’m feeling rather brave tonight.”

“Oh, okay.”

Liam looked a little surprised and put out, clearly having expected that Louis would ask for another truth. Niall squeaked excitedly then, and leapt up, whispering something into Liam’s ear. Harry was sure it was something a bit out there because Liam’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned pink before he nodded, eyes flitting back to Louis.

“Uh… I dare you to kiss Zayn for one minute.”

Harry laughed, sure Louis was going to use his free pass so when Louis got up, stumbling around the circle, he felt his tummy flip over. He’d been certain there was no way Louis would kiss a boy in front of anyone else… a boy that wasn’t himself, anyway. But Zayn allowed himself to be tugged to his feet, and Niall began chanting, cheeks pink, hands clapping in front of him.

“Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him…. YES!”

Harry’s heart plummeted as Louis grabbed Zayn’s cheeks in his hands and crashed their lips together. It began just as a chaste kiss, no more than a peck of lips, but soon, Harry watched as Zayn’s hands slipped around Louis’ waist, the kiss deepening, tongues clearing brushing against the others. Harry curled his hands into fists in his lap, unable to tear his eyes away but at the same time, wanting to dive between them and break it up. Louis wasn’t supposed to kiss Zayn. Louis was supposed to kiss Harry.

Eventually, they broke away, and Harry watched as they were still connected by a string of saliva for a moment, and it was Zayn who surged in, pecking Louis’ lips a final time before he flopped back down in his seat as Louis made his way back to his seat. Subconsciously, Harry sat up a little more, moving away from Louis’ seat, giving him space. Louis smiled at him before he sat down, his lips shiny and slightly swollen, and Harry could barely return it. Jealousy was burning in his stomach, and all of a sudden, the game wasn’t fun anymore.

Louis span the bottle and it landed on Niall, who quickly answered a truth with far too much graphic detail for Harry’s liking. It had been Cher who had begged him to stop, and practically threw the bottle at him, telling him to spin it before she came and rammed it somewhere the sun didn't shine. Niall had looked alarmed at that and quickly set about spinning it, fist-pumping when finally, it landed on Harry.

Before Louis had kissed Zayn, Harry had felt hesitant about doing a dare, not wanting to upset Louis or himself in any way. Now, though, all bets were off. Harry was kind of hoping Niall would offer him an outrageous dare to do, and he promised himself no matter what it was, he would follow it through, sod the consequences.

“Oh, have I got the perfect fucking dare for the baby of the group,” Niall crowed, laughing as he spoke. Zayn was just rolling his eyes, and even Louis was sat a little rigidly. Harry was wondering if he’d be dared to kiss someone, and a glance around the group made him think about who he’d be happy to make out with if necessary. “I want you to streak around the ground floor of the house. Completely starkers.”

Harry had no problem with nudity. In fact, he quite liked being naked and free, and everyone in the house had seen Harry’s naked body at some point since they’d moved in a few weeks ago. He nodded and stood up, kicking his shoes off, lifting his feet to pull off his socks. His hoodie came next, following swiftly by a t-shirt that he purposely threw at Louis, watching as it hit his face and landed in his lap. Interestingly, though, Louis didn't move it from where it landed.

Harry’s hands found the waistband of his shorts and he untied the white string at the waist, slowly wriggling them down his hips, leaving him in his low slung Calvin Klein boxers. He wasn’t embarrassed about his body in the slightest, and before he could think twice, shoved them down his feet, letting them pool at his ankles. Cher squeaked and grabbed a cushion, pulling it over her face as Harry pretended to limber up, not bothered by his cock hanging between his legs, thankfully not hard.

Niall was laughing his head off, Liam was shaking his head and muttering something inaudible under his breath, his gaze firmly fixed on the other side of the room, and Zayn was glancing nervously over, as if unsure whether he could look. Harry couldn’t bring himself to turn around to look at Louis’ reaction, knowing his arse was too close to Louis to be comfortable. Instead, he stepped out from behind the coffee table and began to strut his way around the room, exiting and lapping the house, too aware of Niall hot on his heels to make sure he wasn’t getting away with it.

“Got a good view, have you?” Harry called, and turned to see Niall giving him the middle finger, still giggling his way around behind Harry. He picked up the pace as he neared the living room, and as he walked back in, caught sight of Louis. They stared at each for a minute until Louis’ eyes dipped, raking over Harry’s body from head to toe before they met Harry’s eyes again. Louis swallowed and looked down into his lap again, Harry’s t-shirt curled around his fist still.

“Fucking hell, didn't think you’d do it, mate,” Niall applauded as Harry stepped back over to his pile of clothes. He reached for his boxers first, yanking them up and pinging the elastic waistband back in place.

“Alright, Tommo?” Liam called, and Louis just stuck a thumb up before he pulled the blanket over himself again, his phone in his hands, gaze fixed on the screen. Harry just shrugged it off, but inside, he was panicking, worrying if he’d gone a step too far. All he’d wanted was to make Louis a little flustered after the kiss he’d had with Zayn, but now, as always, he’d fucked things up. He didn't speak until he was fully dressed again, not bothering with his socks and shoes now since it was close to bedtime, and he spun the bottle, smiling when it landed on Cher. With a tight smile, he dared her to go and jump in the pool fully clothed, knowing it would be relatively chilly at this time of night.

“Oh please. Is that the best you can do?” she said with a sneer, and Harry laughed before he pulled her to her feet, tugging her outside to the pool. The rest of the group followed, and Harry jokingly shoved at Cher a few times as she pulled her jumper off over her head, protesting it would shrink and ruin the fabric if she didn't.

“3… 2… 1…” everyone shouted before Harry finally shoved her in, getting splattered with water himself as she hit the surface with a loud splash. They all cheered loudly as she resurfaced, pushing her hair out of her face and slowly swimming to the side. Harry could see Liam hovering nervously, as if he was ready to jump in at any moment and save her should the need arise. As Cher clambered out as gracefully as she could, shivering and dripping on the tiles, Harry accepted a towel from Niall, wrapping it around her shoulders.

They all started to make their way indoors and into the warm, but Harry was pulled backwards, barely catching himself before he fell on his bum.

“Oi, what’s up?” Harry asked Zayn, the one whose fingers were still wrapped around his wrist, holding him back as everyone else went inside, leaving them alone. “Are you okay?”

Zayn nodded, a strange expression on his face. “I am, but Lou…”

“What- where is he? Has he gone in?”

“Yeah. He, uh, he disappeared as you were pushing Cher in. I don’t know if something’s wrong or what but…”

“Ok, well…” Harry pondered for a moment, wondering if he was the person Louis would want to see right now, given how he’d pretty much ignored Harry after his silly streak around the house. “I’ll, um, I’ll go and check on him, I guess?”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Zayn said, clapping a hand down on Harry’s shoulder before they went indoors. Harry locked the patio doors behind him as Zayn rejoined the rest of the group, leaving him alone. He felt nervous about going up to see Louis, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid him for much longer. Louis was, above everything, his best friend, and Harry hated any sort of tension between the pair.

He climbed the stairs slowly, his shorts sat low on his hips, the hems grazing his knees. His hand slid up the glossy wooden bannister as he ascended up to the first floor, where the boys were sharing a bedroom. It was rather cosy, all five of them crammed in one room, but they didn't mind. Harry and Louis pretty much shared the single bed, and Zayn and Liam had one set of bunk beds, while Niall was left alone on the other. Harry turned right at the top of the stairs, and slowly walked down the corridor, his toes sinking into the plush pile of the carpet.

He hesitated for a moment as he reached their bedroom. He paused, listening out for any sign Louis was on the phone to his mum or his sisters, something he often did when he needed some time to himself, when he was missing home. It sounded pretty silent within, so Harry’s hand rested on the door handle. He took a deep breath in before he pushed it down and he stepped inside.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry-”

Despite the fact it was the most awkward situation Harry had ever walked into, he couldn’t take his eyes away from Louis. His best friend was laid out on their bed, the bed they’d slept in too many times to count, but this time, he was completely naked. His right hand was wrapped around his own cock, tugging away in desperation. Louis’ cheeks were flushed red, his bare chest was covered in a sheen of sweat, and his bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, blue eyes locked on Harry’s.

Louis’ eyes were wide as they met Harry’s, but his hand didn't stop its motions.

“I just- I, uh-” Harry fumbled behind him until his hand found the cool metal of the handle, and pushed it down, the door cracking open slightly again. “I’ll go, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t.”

Louis’ voice was deeper than normal and husky, his hand still moving over his hard cock, albeit slightly slower now. Harry paused, his heart racing, body tingling with what he was seeing. They were five boys living in close proximity - they’d heard each other get off in the bathroom when times had become desperate, and they were used to that. It wasn’t anything new. What Harry had never expected to see was Louis’ naked body all splayed out for him like this, and he didn't know what to do or where to look.

Harry slowly closed the door again with a soft click, and reached for the little lock underneath, twisting it to ensure their privacy. It made everything feel a little bit different now, and Harry leaned his back against the door, still staring at Louis across the room. He couldn’t bring himself to move, but it seemed Louis wasn’t too uncomfortable with the situation because he was still wanking himself slowly, his heavy breaths audible now in the empty room.

“Harry-”

Harry shuddered at how his name sounded falling from Louis’ lips, and he nodded slightly, wetting his own lips with his tongue. Louis’ hand was flying freely over his cock again, and Harry just watched, wondering how the skin of Louis’ shaft felt, how wet he was, how thick he would feel in Harry’s hand. As his thoughts drifted off, Harry reached down to adjust himself, all too aware that he was hard now, and that Louis would definitely be able to see his arousal from where he was laid out. His boxers were beginning to get damp from the precome dripping from him, and he swallowed, cheeks flaming in embarrassment at the way he was so obviously affected by this.

“I… come here. Want you here-” Louis mumbled, shifting his body slightly, cock still in his hand. He whimpered as his thumb glided across the shiny wet head of his cock, and Harry just stood, unable to move. “Harry, please-”

“Louis, I don’t-”

“I want you to. I-... I want you.”

Harry just nodded and pushed himself away from the door slowly, glancing down to where his cock was tenting his boxers obscenely. He looked back up to see Louis’ eyes on his crotch now, probably knowing it was because of him and what he was doing, but Harry stayed where he was, his eyes on Louis’ again. The atmosphere felt charged, and with a sudden burst of confidence, Harry stepped over, standing at the foot of the bed. Now he was closer, he could hear the wet slide of Louis’ hand over his cock, could see how the rest of Louis’ body was flushed with his arousal. Louis’ hips bucked up slightly into his fist, and it was all Harry could do to hold himself back, to keep his hands to himself.

“Come closer,” Louis begged, looking earnestly up at Harry now. Harry’s eyes drifted to the thick curves of Louis’ thighs and he nodded, slowly shifting over to the side of the bed, putting one knee onto the mattress tentatively. Louis’ free hand reached out, touching his knee and Harry’s breath hitched, every inch of his skin prickling from Louis’ gentle touch. “Harry, please-”

Harry nodded quickly and got onto the bed, kneeling down next to Louis’ naked body. He’d never been confronted with so much bare skin in his life, and so close to him. He allowed his gaze to roam all over Louis’ body, from his ankles where his shorts had been shoved down in his haste to touch himself, up over his perfect thighs, Harry’s favourite part of Louis if he was honest, and then back up to his flat stomach, tanned and golden from hours spent topless in the garden playing football or catching the sun. Louis’ chest was covered in a smattering of hair, and Harry longed to reach out and touch, to feel how it felt beneath his hands.

The pressure on his own cock was insane now as well. He needed to touch, to make himself feel something but he couldn’t, not yet. Not when Louis was all laid out in front of him like this, touching himself in this way. It wasn’t just the visual of Louis wanking that was turning Harry on, it was the sounds he was making. Whimpers and moans cascaded around Harry’s ears as Louis stroked himself, and Harry thought about how good it would feel to be the one to make those noises come out of Louis’ mouth.

“You can… you can put your hands on me,” Louis whispered, reaching out and grabbing Harry’s wrist with his free hand, connecting them again. Harry slid his arm down until their hands met, holding on for a second before he cautiously reached out, heading slowly for where Louis’ hand was still wrapped around himself. Harry wanked quite a lot if he was honest. Sleeping next to Louis would do that to you, and he had no shame about it. However, touching someone else’s cock felt like a big deal, and he steadied himself for a moment, feeling like this a momentous thing in his life he wouldn’t forget. It all felt a bit overwhelming. “You- you don’t have to…”

“No. No, I want to, I’m just… nervous. Never done this before.”

“Me neither. Let’s… you can just watch me, if you want to?”

Harry nodded and relaxed, feeling the pressure alleviate from his shoulders. He let his hand rest on Louis’ bare thigh as Louis resumed the motions of his hand. Harry took the time to finally look at Louis, to let the sight of his body fully sink in. Louis was utterly beautiful. His skin was so tanned and soft-looking, and Harry loved the dusting of hair scattered over his body. His eyes rose up slightly to Louis’ amazing collarbones, the way the skin dipped into the crevices there, slightly shiny with sweat. Harry let his eyes roam across Louis’ chest, his dusky pink nipples which were hard nubs now, down over his stomach again. He loved that Louis’ tummy wasn’t entirely flat, that there was a softness about it no doubt thanks to Louis’ love of food and alcohol. Harry had touched it so many times before when they’d shared a bed, but it was always over Louis’ t-shirt, his palm resting flat against it whenever he was the big spoon.

“Harry…” Louis mumbled through a shaky breath, fingers wrapping tightly around the base of his cock for a moment. Harry allowed his eyes to follow the movement of Louis’ hand, looking fully at him for the first time. Louis’ cock was hard and leaking from the tip, fingers tightly holding its girth. It was darker than the skin of his hand, hair nestled around the base of it where Louis’ fingers kept a firm grip, clearly staving off his orgasm. Harry watched with wide eyes as a fresh pearl of precome slipped out, pausing at the tip before Louis’ thumb swiped across, smearing it over the head. “Fuck-”

“Keep going, Lou,” Harry encouraged, mesmerised by the sight in front of him. It was the most erotic moment of his life by a long way. He’d kissed girls and boys before at school, but nothing had come close to what he was experiencing with Louis right now. He watched as Louis’ tight fist began to drag up and down his shaft slowly, teasing himself. He moaned lowly under his breath, a sound that went straight to Harry’s cock, making it twitch in the confines of his underwear. He knew Louis knew he was affected, but this wasn’t about him, at least not yet. “Fuck, you look so good-”

Harry let his fingertips dig into the flesh of Louis’ thigh for a moment, leaving little crescent moons in Louis’ skin where his nails dug in. it wasn’t hard enough to cause pain or to permanently mark Louis, but Harry liked seeing his marks on Louis, as impermanent as they were. Louis’ skin was hot underneath his palm, the muscles twitching with every stroke of his hand up and down his cock, and Harry met Louis’ eyes again before he licked his lips slowly, reaching down as subtly as he could to palm at himself, too affected by what he was seeing.

“Are you- was it-”

Harry stuttered over his words, wanting to ask Louis if it was because of him getting naked earlier that Louis was in this state, but he couldn’t bring himself to suggest it, thinking that maybe that was a step too far.

“You. Naked, earlier. Fuck, Harry-”

“God,” Harry breathed out, pressing the heel of his palm down now, Louis’ eyes on his crotch too. All embarrassment had gone. Harry didn't care Louis was watching, in fact, he quite liked that idea. “Are you close?”

“Mmm,” Louis hummed, his hand motions getting a little sloppier now. Harry could only look on as Louis’ hips bucked up into his fist, causing a mewl to erupt from Louis’ mouth, muscles all over his body tensing. Harry could see Louis was sensitive, probably only a few strokes from coming, and it was a lot for him to look at. Harry pressed his thumb against the head of his own cock, boxers wet now from where Harry was leaking onto them, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to watch Louis to come, to see how his body contorted, the expression that crossed his face at the peak in his pleasure. “Harry-”

Louis’ free hand was gripping the bed sheet now, and Harry wanted to tease. He loosened his grip on Louis’ thigh and slowly started trailing his fingers up, staying away from Louis’ cock, wanting to save touching him for another time when he could be the one to get Louis to full hardness, for when they could perhaps do this together. Instead, he ran his fingertips softly over the jut of Louis’ hip bone before stroking back and forth with his thumb over his skin, Louis’ eyes looking down to where Harry was touching him.

“So beautiful, Lou… want you to come, wanna see you come.”

“Yeah, want that- oh god, fuck, Harry, I-”

At that moment, Harry wished he could slow down time, make it stop so he could treasure this moment forever. He was on his knees, one hand gripping at Louis’ hip, the other pressed against his own erection as Louis’ body went rigid for a moment, his jaw dropped, eyes squeezed shut. Louis’ hand stuttered for a moment, just working over the top part of his cock as he started to come, white come pulsing from the head, splattering over Louis’ belly, an errant few drops landing on Harry’s fingers which were still digging in to Louis’ skin. Harry could feel the way Louis was convulsing underneath him, and he thought Louis’ face in that moment was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Louis let out a long exhale, his body relaxing as he stilled, his cock still in his hand, eyes remaining shut. Harry watched the rise and fall of his chest as he caught his breath, the come on his belly just sat there, a reminder of what had just happened. Harry slowly removed his hand, and as he did so, Louis looked up at him, cheeks pink and eyes dark. Harry didn't think twice before he brought the come-covered finger to his lips, pink tongue darting out to clean it up. Louis just muttered something inaudible under his breath and dropped his gaze to Harry’s right hand where he was still touching himself.

Harry was all of a sudden very aware of how dressed he was compared to Louis, and he just wanted to get a hand on himself, to have Louis watch him. He rose up on the bed where he was to his knees, fumbling with the tie of his shorts before he finally unpicked it, pushing them down his hips until they pooled at his knees, exposing his boxers. This was nothing new since Harry slept in boxers and not a lot else, and Harry was keen for Louis to see all of him, just as he’d seen all of Louis. Sure, Louis had just watched him streak, but being so close to Louis, sharing this moment together felt momentous, just for the two of them. Louis must have felt Harry’s pause was hesitancy because he gave him a slight nod, giving Harry the confidence he needed to shove his boxers down too, his hard cock springing free.

Harry hissed as he finally wrapped a hand around himself, already feeling too close to coming. He was sensitive thanks to his earlier illicit wank but he couldn't stop. He let his eyes drift shut and his head tilt back as he began to work a hand over himself, doing exactly what he knew he liked. He twisted his wrist as he reached the end, pulling his foreskin back a little, teasing himself. He kept his grip fairly firm, the soft skin of his shaft hot under his hand. He heard himself let out a low moan on a particularly quick flick of his wrist, and Louis’ breath hitched.

“Harry... want you to look at me-”

With a nod, Harry let his eyes drift open, moving down to look at Louis who was still splayed out on the bed, cock soft against his hip now. Still, he was the most wondrous sight Harry had ever seen, and he let his eyes roam hungrily as he started to wank a bit faster, his breaths and the movement of his hand over himself all that could be heard between them. Louis’ hand twitched where it was laid on the bed, and Harry bit down on his lip, wishing Louis would touch him.

“Can I…” Louis muttered, lifting his hand slightly, and Harry let out a sigh, nodding quickly.

“Please-”

Louis did so, sitting up slightly so he could touch Harry’s legs, thighs more slender than Louis’, and much paler in tone. Harry glanced down to see Louis’ golden hand upon his snow white skin, watched his fingers move over the dark hairs on his thighs, trailing to the soft skin inside them. Harry shuddered as he leaked more precome, too turned on by the way Louis was touching him. Each touch was tentative and soft, Louis pressing down gently before he released Harry’s thigh, letting his hand come up Harry’s body, resting on his chest above his thudding heart.

Harry shuffled closer, short movements of his restrained knees, the right one now pressing into Louis’ outer thigh, keeping them linked. Louis’ hand stayed where it was, and Harry wished he’d touch him more, would put his hands all over his body.

“Your nipples look so hard, love,” Louis whispered, words only for them. “I wanna touch them so much, but I want to watch you make yourself come first.”

“Yeah, I can- I can do that,” Harry mumbled, his tummy swooping at Louis’ compliments, the thought of Louis squeezing and sucking and touching nipples flying wildly around in his mind now. He imagined how hot and good Louis’ tongue would feel on them, the sparks of pleasure that he’d no doubt feel from such a touch emanating through his body. He was close now, the thoughts driving him closer to the edge and he rolled his hips forwards slowly with a low groan.

“Sound so sexy, Haz.”

Harry whimpered at that, and began wanking faster again, Louis’ eyes now following his hand on his cock. Harry felt exposed, more so than when he’d been naked in front of a room full of people, but there was no one else he wanted looking at him like this other than Louis. This was something intensely private but doing it with Louis felt right.

“Oh shit- fuck, I’m gonna- Louis, I’m gonna come-”

“You can, love,” Louis murmured, and the pet name was all it took for Harry to come, trying valiantly to keep his eyes open as he came hard, not thinking about his proximity to Louis until he looked down, watching his come splatter over Louis’ thigh, Louis thankfully not flinching. Harry kept his hand moving until he felt completely empty and slightly too sensitive, his cock softening already in his hand. Reluctantly, he let go and breathed out, his head hanging down now, curls masking his face for a moment as he came down from his much-needed high.

It was Louis who broke the silence a few moments later.

“You came on me.”

Harry looked up, cheeks flaming as he realised that he had indeed come all over his best friend, the man he’d had a crush on for months now. He’d dreamt about doing such a thing, but it had been with Louis’ encouragement and permission. This hadn’t been.

“Shit, sorry, I-”

“No, it’s fine. But, um, I’d better go. Clean up, you know?”

Louis didn't look at Harry as he stood up from the bed, his body still bare. Harry didn't know where to look, so kept his gaze focused on his own bare crotch. He heard Louis’ bare feet pad across the carpet and looked up just in time to see a glimpse of Louis’ bare bum before he pulled up some black boxers over himself, disappearing out of the bedroom with a towel and a small pile of clothes. The door shut behind him with a decisive click, and it was only then did Harry allow himself to relax.

He flopped down onto the warm sheet that Louis had left behind, liking the fact it was warm because Louis’ bare body had been against it just moments before. He wriggled around for a bit, kicking off his joggers and pulling his boxers back up, letting his body cool down. He felt sleepy as he always did after he’d come but he decided to wait to sleep until Louis came back to bed. He really liked the idea of a cuddle after what they shared, and he smiled to himself as he tugged the sheet up and over his body, feeling warm as usual.

In a way, it all felt surreal. He couldn’t believe Louis hadn’t yelled at him to get out when he’d walked in on him, but for him to have him to come closer and watch was the things of Harry’s wildest fantasies. As much as he’d wanted to touch Louis, to feel his body and his cock, it felt better somehow that he hadn’t, that he’d been forced to hold back while Louis had touched himself to the sight of Harry looking on. As much as Harry had always known he’d liked boys, being that close to Louis and doing something so overtly sexual together just reaffirmed his feelings that not only was he gay, but that was quite possibly very much in love with Louis Tomlinson.

It was with that thought that Harry finally fell asleep, hoping he’d wake up with Louis’ body wrapped around him, sharing their warmth under the covers.

* * * * *

Louis didn't come to bed that night. In fact, Louis didn't return to Harry’s bed, or the boys’ bedroom in fact, for the next three nights. Louis seemed to be doing his best to avoid Harry, and they’d barely shared any words that weren’t polite “thank you”’s after a door had been held open or a “please pass the ketchup” at the dinner table. It didn't escape the notice of the other boys either, and Harry was beginning to find it all too much.

He didn't sleep well without Louis. He’d become so accustomed to having the older boy wrapped around him in bed, the small spoon to Louis’ big spoon, that he felt too alone, even in a small single bed. The sheets and pillows had started to already lose Louis’ familiar smell, and Harry just couldn’t settle. He was exhausted, running on just a few hours kip a night, and he was miserable. Niall was stepping up, trying to make Harry laugh, to liven him up but it wasn’t working. All Harry wanted was Louis, but he was the one thing furthest from his reach.

Louis had become a bit withdrawn too. He was much quieter at the rehearsals they’d had over the past few days, not mucking around as he usually did, to the point where even their choreographer had asked if he was sickening for something. Louis had just shaken his head and disappeared with Zayn for half an hour, the pair returning and quietly resuming their positions like they hadn’t just vanished. Harry had had to disappear himself to the loo for a quick cry after that, and when he came back in, he knew Louis saw his red-rimmed eyes by the way he quickly looked to the ground.

Mary and John had cooked the group an amazing roast dinner that night, and while it was usually one of Harry’s favourite meals, he’d picked at it, pushing the food around his plate before he’d apologised and told them he wasn’t feeling well and was going to call his mum. He’d reassured Niall he was okay before his friend could follow him and he’d slipped outside to the spacious patio area, grateful for some fresh air and some peace. As much as Harry loved the X Factor, it could be quite stifling to live with so many people, especially when there wasn’t much opportunity to escape.

Harry had thought about going home to Holmes Chapel after the live show this weekend, just taking a couple of days for himself, days that he wouldn’t have to stare longingly after Louis. Days that he wouldn’t have to reflect on what a mess he’d made of everything, how he’d thrown their friendship away all because of a wank. Harry knew what the problem was. Louis hadn’t asked for any of that, not to be watched, not to be come on, but Harry had done it anyway, too lost in a fog of lust and desire for Louis to realise his feelings quite clearly weren’t returned in that way. So now, he’d thrown away their friendship, and the guilt was eating him alive.

He sat quietly texting Gemma as the low hum of conversation from inside the house floated through an open window. Harry watched a little bird hop around the grass for a while, pecking at the soft soil from where it had drizzled earlier that morning, and he wished he could grow wings, fly away and be that free. He heard the slide of the patio door opening and then closing, but didn't turn around, not sure he really wanted to see or engage with whoever was joining him outside. He felt someone sit next to him, and he held his breath, fairly certain he knew who it was now.

“Haz… I think we need to talk.”

Harry gulped for a moment, hands gripping tightly on the seat of the bench where he was perched, looking out over the soft sunset in the garden. It was a peaceful evening, the perfect place to have such a discussion but Harry shook his head, hoping it would all go away.

“I- I can’t, Louis.”

He flinched as a hand settled on top of his own, and finally, he dragged his gaze up, looking into familiar blue eyes.

“I hate this, and I want to sort it out. Please, Harry.”

Harry knew he couldn’t resist when Louis spoke to him like that, his voice soft and full of emotion so he nodded, not able to bring himself to tear his hand away, either. It was the most contact they’d had in days, and his body was craving it. He parted his fingers slightly, letting Louis’ slide into the gaps, slotting together easily, like they were made to fit. They sat in silence for a moment, and Harry prayed Louis would speak first, not sure he could.

“Harry, I’m sorry.”

Harry sighed and shook his head. Louis wasn’t the one who should be apologising. He wasn’t the one who had taken advantage of his friend’s state. Harry had, and he went to pull his hand away, but Louis didn't let him. He pressed harder onto Harry’s hand, holding him in place.

“Louis-”

“No, Harry, let me talk, please? I’m sorry, because for these past few days, I’ve been avoiding you and I know you know it. You’ve looked as miserable as I’ve felt so I know this has been shit for you too.”

“S’okay,” Harry mumbled, staring at his feet on the ground, wishing Louis would hurry up and leave like he was inevitably going to anyway. “I get it.”

“No, you really don’t,” Louis chuckled, and Harry sensed him shake his head. “After what happened the other night, I was a coward and I ran away from you instead of stopping and being an adult and talking to you about it. That wasn’t fair, I was a complete dickhead and I’m ashamed of how I acted. You didn't deserve that, Harry, you deserve so much more than us sharing that and then me running away like a twat.”

Harry stayed silent, now feeling a little uncertain about where all this was heading. He could hear his blood whooshing through his ears, his stomach a little jittery now. He was pleased he hadn’t bothered to eat much as he felt like he was going to throw up if Louis didn't say something more and soon.

“Well, why _did_ you run away from me?”

Louis paused for a moment, looking down at his feet before he finally dragged his head back up, eyes settling on Harry’s again.

“I was scared.”

“Of me?”

“Not exactly,” Louis admitted, his slender hand coming up to fix his fringe. It was a gesture so familiar to Harry he almost reached out to help him but stopped himself, sitting on his hand. “I was scared of my feelings, H… of how much I liked what we did. I… I’ve never been with a boy. And I only broke up with Hannah like a week ago and then there’s you… you and your fucking gorgeous face, and your curls, and your beautiful body. Just... you.”

Harry flushed at Louis’ words, hating that he was the cause of any sort of pain or confusion for Louis, but at the same time, he felt warm inside at Louis’ admittance he had liked what they’d done together.

“It’s a lot, Harry. What we did. But you did nothing wrong, I promise you. I wanted it, fuck, I initiated it. You went to leave and I told you not to, so it’s on me.”

Harry just nodded, his mouth feeling dry, unable to speak.

“Then there’s the fact I was so fucking needy. I practically begged you to touch me, to hold me. I’m not usually like that during sex, Haz, and I really don’t know where it came from. I was embarrassed, I guess.”

“I didn't mind, Lou,” Harry rushed out, keen to put Louis’ mind at ease. He’d loved how Louis had been with him, it had made him feel wanted and desired, and in his mind, that was never a bad thing. It had been nice to see Louis a little less than completely together as well, and he liked the fact it was him who had got to see Louis like that. “I promise I liked it. A lot, actually. It was really special to me.”

“I don’t even really know if you like me that way, too. I know we’re close, but-”

Harry couldn’t stop himself scoffing then, cutting through Louis’ words as he shook his head. Louis’ head turned to look at him, a look of confusion on his face, like he was worried he’d said something else wrong.

“What?”

“Are you kidding? You’ve got to be kidding, Louis.”

“About what?”

“Not being sure I like you, too. Surely you know I’m fucking mad about you? That I’ve liked you as more than just my best friend for ages now? I really don’t think I’m that subtle about it, Lou.”

“You never said anything…” Louis mumbled, his cheeks a bright pink now. “I mean, I hoped you did, but- you do? Like me, I mean? Shit, I sound like a teenage girl-”

Harry giggled at that, shuffling closer to Louis on the bench. “Yeah, Lou. I like you a lot. More than a lot, I suppose. I’ve never clicked with anyone as fast as I have with you. Being best friends seemed inevitable, but I always hoped we could maybe be more. I love being close with you, sharing a bed, cuddling, play-fighting, all of that. But what happened in bed the other night… I always dreamed of stuff like that but the reality… shit.”

“Good?”

“Better than I ever hoped,” Harry said dreamily, wriggling his hand free from under Louis’, turning his body to face Louis now, filled with confidence now he had an idea Louis felt the same for him. “You liked it too?”

“You couldn’t tell by the way I was touching you, and how quickly I came from you watching me?” Louis asked, eyebrow arched at Harry. “Harry, I loved it, all of it.”

Harry just smiled to himself again, letting Louis take his hand again.

“I’d like us to try being more, Lou. I mean, I’ve never had a boyfriend before, not a real one, anyway. And I know we won’t be able to tell anyone, that we’ll have to hide what we are to each other, at least from the public but it’s worth it to me, if we get to be more. I want you to be my boyfriend, Lou, if that’s something you think you want too?”

Louis was quiet, staring pensively out over the garden for a minute. Harry felt his heart miss a beat, suddenly fearful he’d completely fucked everything up by declaring his deepest feelings to Louis, telling him exactly what he wanted. He snatched his hand back, wrapping his arms around himself for a moment.

“Shit, sorry, just ignore me-”

He pushed up from the bench and went to walk away, tears brimming in his eyes now but Louis snatched out at the hem of his top, grabbing a handful of fabric and pulling Harry to a stop.

“Harry, stop, please wait.”

Harry did, not bothering to struggle. He didn't want to run away from Louis, not really. He was just scared of being rejected again, the thought of Louis letting him down, albeit gently as he of course would, hurt him deep inside.

“Harry…” Louis took a deep breath, making himself look at Harry before he spoke, clearly struggling to keep his voice steady. Harry let his hand slip into Louis’, stroking over the skin on the back of his hand with his thumb for a moment, trying to offer some comfort. “Were you serious, when you said you wanted to be with me? Do you think we can be something good?”

“I do,” Harry nodded, keeping his voice quiet and low, taking a step closer to Louis’ body. “I really do, Louis. I’ve been so miserable while you’ve been keeping your distance from me. I can’t sleep without you, I don’t feel myself unless you’re around me. That might be a bit much, but it’s true. I missed you so much it hurt me inside, and I didn't know how to fix it. I felt like a stupid kid who got in over my head, and I hated that. I hated us being apart.”

“I did too, and Haz, I’m so sorry I hurt you, that I made you feel sad. That was the last thing I wanted, but I was a stupid, scared twat. And you’re not a stupid kid… you know what you want, and you’re not afraid of your feelings. I wish I was as brave as you.”

“You are. And anyway, I like you just as you are. Quite a lot, actually.”

Louis grinned, bringing his hands up to rest on Harry’s waist. It was a way that they hadn’t touched before. Louis was always tickling him, curling his body against Harry’s when they watched telly in the sitting room with the other contestants, brushing against his arm when he walked by him in the house, but this felt different. This was touching with intent, more intimately than Harry had been touched by another person in a long time. Louis’ hands were burning through the thin fabric of Harry’s t-shirt, holding him in place.

“Can I kiss you, Harry? I really want to kiss you right now.”

“I really want you to kiss me, too.”

Harry watched as Louis’ tongue darted out, wetting his lips. His heart was pounding in his chest now, and the proximity to Louis meant he could smell the familiar scent of the boy that he’d missed so badly over the past few days. He hoped no-one could see them from where they were stood, but somehow, he knew he didn't care if they could. This was everything he’d ever wanted. He liked Louis, and Louis liked him back. He wanted him too.

Louis leaned in, a hand hesitantly coming up to cup Harry’s cheek, resting along his jawline for a moment. Harry wanted so badly to nuzzle into it but kept himself focused, knowing Louis’ kiss was coming. He held his breath as Louis tilted his head to the side and gently pressed their lips together. Harry had had a few first kisses in his time. His first was with a girl, something he felt he should do, and he hadn’t enjoyed it all that much. His first with a boy was someone he’d had a crush on at school, although it had been too sloppy and unpractised to be completely enjoyable. But this first kiss with Louis easily surpassed both of those. Kissing Louis just felt… right.

Louis skillfully moved his lips against Harry’s, taking the lead. Harry wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so let them come up to rest on Louis’ shoulders, digging in slightly, reassuring himself that this was real. It was Louis’ tongue that moved next, dragging slowly across Harry’s bottom lip. Harry shivered at the contact and gently parted his lips, letting Louis inside, his tongue exploring. He moaned as Louis’ tongue brushed against his own, confident as he guided Harry.

Harry almost stumbled when Louis’ hand still resting around his waist tugged him closer, their bodies colliding. Harry felt Louis’ hand come around his lower back, pinning him against him, and he felt himself go pliant, enjoying every second of how Louis was making him feel. He’d longed to kiss Louis for so long, and now it was happening, it was almost too much. Harry deepened the kiss again, feeling a rush of confidence as he pushed his tongue forwards into Louis’ mouth, tasting him at last.

It was Louis who broke away from the kiss first, chuckling softly as he rested their foreheads together. Harry’s lips were still tingling, his chin smarting slightly from where Louis’ barely-there stubble had grazed against it during their kiss.

“Wow…” Louis mumbled, his hand still on Harry’s back, not letting him go just yet.

“Was that… was that your first kiss with a boy?” Harry dared to ask, almost dreading the answer.

“Yeah, well... the first one that really matters,” Louis confirmed, pulling his head up and staring deeply into Harry’s green eyes. “Best first kiss I’ve ever had, though.”

“Me too,” Harry said with a small smile, unable to stop himself from leaning in and kissing Louis again. He was a bit afraid that now he was able to, he wouldn’t ever be able to stop himself. Louis was his now, after all. Harry let out an involuntary sound as Louis leaned in, nipping gently at his neck with his teeth before he kissed over it, resting his forehead on Harry’s shoulder for a moment before he straightened up again, the pair staring at each other. “I like you so much, Louis.” Harry knew it was more than that, at least for him, but he couldn’t say that to Louis just yet. He couldn’t scare him off when he finally had the boy he wanted in his arms, hopefully where he was going to stay.

“I really like you, too. Just… be patient with me, okay? I’m gonna fuck up, and be a shitty boyfriend at times but I want all of this with you. The kisses, the touching… everything. Just give me a chance, love.”

“Not planning on letting you go anywhere,” Harry confessed, his hand up in the soft hair at the back of Louis’ neck now, gently playing with it as he spoke. “We’ll learn together, okay? And if you get freaked out or whatever again, Lou, just talk to me, please? Because chances are, it’ll be freaking me out too, and I’d rather freak out with you than freak out alone.”

Louis giggled at that, and Harry watched his face contort into the most beautiful smile, his eyes crinkling, smile so wide it must have made his cheeks ache. Harry thought Louis was at his most beautiful when he smiled, although the peace that came over him when he slept was a close second for sure.

“You wanna go back inside with everyone? Think Li said they’re gonna watch a movie or something.”

Harry just shook his head, knowing what it was he really wanted.

“Uh… I want an early night. I’m so tired ‘cos I haven’t been sleeping properly…”

“Oh, okay. Well, I hope you get some sleep-”

“No, you doofus,” Harry giggled as Louis tucked a couple of stray curls behind his ear before his hand pressed on his chest gently. Harry loved how it felt to have Louis’ hands on his body, albeit innocently like this. “Want you to come up with me. I’ve missed our cuddles so much. We don’t have to do anything, I just want to be with you.”

Louis didn't speak. He just reached down and took Harry’s hand, pulling open the patio door gently, trying to avoid being heard. They could hear the telly blasting something loudly so took the long way around to the stairs, sneaking up, pleased everyone else seemed to be occupied. They arrived at the boys bedroom and walked inside, closing the door with a soft click behind them. Harry glanced at his bed, sighing at the wrinkled sheets and looked over to Louis, who just shrugged, already shucking off his jeans, kicking them to the floor at the bottom of the bed. His hands were on the hem of his t-shirt, and he hesitated for a moment.

“You can take it off it you want, or not, I don’t mind,” Harry said, stripped down to his boxers as he always did. Being nearly naked around Louis had never bothered him when they were just best friends, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let it bother him now Louis was his boyfriend. He dove into the covers, yanking them up to his chin as he watched Louis flick off the light, coming back to the bed where he gently got in, the mattress dipping as he did so. “Missed this so much.”

Louis crowded up against him, their legs tangling naturally as they always did under the covers, hands linked too. That part was new, but Harry loved it. He let his eyes flutter shut, tiredness seeping deep into his bones now. Just having Louis there and cuddling him made him feel safe and happy, and he never wanted to have to leave their bed. Louis was back, and Harry felt content.

“G’night Haz,” Louis whispered, a hand now stroking through Harry’s hair in a comforting manner. “Sleep well, love.”

“Night, Lou,” Harry replied, tilting his chin for a quick kiss which Louis gave easily. “Glad you’re back in here with me. Missed you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry confirmed, flinging an arm around Louis’ waist, keeping him close. “Was so tired of sleeping alone.”

**The end.**

**Author's Note:**

> You can reblog the [tumblr post](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/post/185208228496/eyes-wide-open-out-now-on-ao3) if you enjoyed it and you'd like to share!
> 
> Do leave a comment and let me know your thoughts! :) Thanks for reading. x


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